How to protect your Identity from Theft or Abandonment

The fear of identity theft is everywhere now a days. We are inundated with commercials for identity theft insurance covering our personal on-line presence, computer and cell phone security. We have plenty of fear mongering in the media on the subject, news stories, blogs, Facebook, You Tube, and Instagram ads scaring us to death that someone will steal our identity. Even a movie came out called Identity Thief. It was billed as a comedy but to most of us identity theft is no laughing matter.
A few years ago, my sister-in-law passed away and I helped her mother remove her belongings from her home. I was shocked to discover that the whole apartment was packed with bags of mail. Some piles reached the ceiling. I asked my brother what all these bags of mail were everywhere. He said that she was going to shred them because she feared identity theft but never got around to it. I asked if she had ever been a victim of identity theft and he said that she had not been. Yet she inconvenienced her whole life living in the fear of something that never happened. She cluttered up her home with papers to protect herself from an unseen, unknown enemy that for her actually did not exist. She died of a respiratory problem that led to sudden heart failure at the age of 38. Unfortunately, she didn’t fear the dangers of toxic dust and mold from all the paper clutter which may have played a role in her death.
The truth is that there are identity thieves out there. The ones my sister-in-law feared are real they effect 3.3% of Americans about 1.43 million people. Out of the whole country that is a city the size of San Diego. This kind of identity theft that mostly deals with our money is scary but that is not the true enemy.
The real identity theft comes more subtly. Sit back and think for a second. Ask yourself, “What is my identity? How do you see yourself? Who do you identify as?

Identity is a daily part of our world. On our doctors forms we are asked if we identify as non-Hispanic white, Hispanic white, African American, Native American, Asian, or 2 or more races. Do we identity as male, female, trans, gay, lesbian, bisexual or another. The public scrambles to adjust to the varying pronouns and what to call who in the third person: he, she, they.

My husband and I used to own a popcorn, ice cream and hot dog shop across the street from Petco Park home of the San Diego Padres Major League Baseball Stadium in the historic Gaslamp district. We had many customers whose whole identity in life was as a Dodgers fan or Phillies fan or which ever team they cheered.

If you were from San Diego, however, your identity most likely was not tied to baseball. San Diegans enjoyed identities such as a surfer, biker, paraglider, drag racer, horseback rider, dog person. I was a dog person and a Stand Up Paddle Boarder. One neighbor walked her pig. She was a pig person. Yep, she never picked up the pig poop from the side walk. Maybe she took the pig identity too far.

Besides baseball many other sports capture identities: football, soccer, basketball, bowling, golf, tennis and the list goes on. Many have hobbies that have taken over their identity such as quilting, woodworking, birdwatching, hiking, gardening, scrapbooking, knitting etc.

As a teen my high school was divided up in factions: Jocks, cowboys, shop guys, band guys, math nerds, the popular fashionistas, partiers and so on. Me? I was a book worm. Why worm why not book bunny or book butterfly. How about book lion or book tiger but that is a topic for another blog.

Throughout the twentieth century, many identified through what kind of music they listened to or TV show they liked. This also qualified their style of dress such as grunge, alternative, punk rock, classic rock, country, R&B, rap, gospel, jazz or classical. I had an office mate who listened to Jazz and described herself as “terrible sophisticated” always wearing a short-skirted suit and high heels. That was her identity. Other friends described themselves as a Treky, a fan of the Star Trek series or Potterheads, those addicted to Harry Potter books and/or movies.

We used to do many corporate events for the rich and famous in Southern California. It always amused us that those who serve the wealthy on a regular basis get lost in that identity. They start thinking they are rich and walk around snubbing their friends and neighbors. They forget they are there serving in the big fancy house and that it is not theirs. They take on a different identity and lose or abandon their own.

One of my favorite scenes is in a comedic movie staring Michael Eps. Eps character gets a job as a security guard in a bad part of town in Los Angeles. Even though he doesn’t carry a gun, the power of being the security guard goes to his head. He goes around bossing all the customers that come into the strip mall creating some funny scenarios. His identity as a powerful person who could control others happened as soon as he put on the rent a cop uniform.

Many Americans’ identity stems from their profession. They say I am a professor, doctor, lawyer, teacher, preacher, business owner, government administrator, accountant, mechanic, carpenter. You get the idea.

Some have their identity tied to their church or organizations such as the Church of Christ, Baptists, Methodist, Mormons, Catholic, Episcopal, Lutheran etc. or The Rotary, Masons, Historical Society, Save the Children, the Food Bank, Patron of the Arts just to name a few.

Some have their identity wrapped around their race or nationality: Jewish, African, Mexican, Russian, German, English, Chinese, Japanese, French, Norwegian and so on.

When my son was a teen in the early 2000s they had different identities such as gamers, emo, anime, improv, RPG (role playing games) I often wonder if these RPG kids actually forget who they are in reality and become their role, their avatar for real. They abandoned their identity for make believe.

Over the last few years many Americans gave up their previous identity of a sports team, service organization, music genre, even their identity as a professional or their religious practice to assume the new identity of a democrats, a republican, a progressive, or a conservative.

In all this sea of identities in countless categories of identitie each person attaches himself, herself, or themselves to an identity to provide the themselves with a sense of belonging, a feeling of importance, of being someone special, being memorable, well liked, notorious, or whatever reputation is pursued.

With all these identities why are so many people unhappy and complaining. Why are these identities not fulfilling their desired need? The real problem is that we are not victims of identity theft but rather identity giving, identity abandonment or identity betraying.

Of course, it is not bad to enjoy being a fan of a sport, do our job, have a hobby, and so on but when we find ourselves changing ourselves to fit in that is when we run into an authenticity problem and we lose our true identity. When we give our identity over to a group of any kind in order to fit in we actually betray ourselves. We abandon our authentic self as bad and the new “identity as good”. If something goes wrong with this new identity (and it will because it is a house of cards based on things we can not control) our life falls apart.

Everyone has seen a sports fan fall into anger and depression because their team lost. Marriages fall apart because the husband lost their job. I have seen people lose faith in God because a Pastor turned out to be someone of ill repute. These people based their identity on something that could not hold up. In wrapping one’s self around an identity based on a concept of doing, playing, working, being, or even believing is not our true identity at all. It doesn’t hold water. That is why this identity is so fragile that people defend them, sometimes to the death. We have objectified ourselves based on what we do (career or hobby), what we enjoy, (our recreation), our race, nationality or religion, or political party. When we do this we put a stamp on our forehead that tells people “what” we are. The definition of identity, however, is supposed to tell us “who” we are.

If we don’t know who we are we feel lost, alone, fragile, depressed, and especially fearful. No matter where you are from, your back ground, your social status only one truth exists about who you are. The truth is that we are each individual children of God. We are precious and purposefully made by the creator. We have been given the inheritance of grace, glory and salvation by Jesus Christ. We may work as a professional , enjoy spectator sport , enjoy playing sport , listen to _ music, find satisfaction in charitable endeavor, go to __ church. But the bottom line is that if we identity with any of those things we are a victim of identity betrayal.
Identity betrayal means that someone didn’t steal your identity we freely gave it away to a political party, sports group, social group or denomination. We look down on poor Esau for selling his birthright for a bowl of soup but we do it to by selling our identity to fit in.

We are the sons and daughters of God. This is our identity, our only identity. Can we still do things and enjoy things. Of course, God loves to see us do and enjoy, attend church, charitable galas and sporting, music, or art events. Only let’s remember that that piano you are playing is not you. That Christian band you are listening to is not you. You are a child of God.

Imagine if we all did everything that we did knowing that we are the heirs to the Kingdom. We have access to the creator and giver of life. We have his light in us. We are the children of God. This is our true identity, our only identity. The miraculous thing about your true identity is that it is uniquely only yours and at the same time you are part of the family of God’s children making you belong to the most important group of all time. You belong. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel left out, alone or not with the in crowd. You belong to the in crowd of the most high God.

You may ask “Sure I am a child of God but can’t I also identify with as scientist?” You can do the work of a scientist but not identity is a scientist. If you are faced with losing your identity as a scientist because you believe in Jesus you will choose your identity. You say “No way! That is not what I would do?” An identity is who be believe we are so if you are not who you are anymore it feels like dying. If you are faced with dying, what choice would you make. Rare is the person that is willing to sacrifice their identity and die to what they have always known or chose.

We used to live in a San Diego neighborhood near the University of California San Diego. Many of our neighbors were professors as were the couple from whom we bought the house. They were both scientists. They had met on a research vessel in Antarctica studying global warming. (By the way they said it was a real thing) The husband was retiring and the wife was going to Europe for work. So, they split and went their separate ways because their identity was their profession and not as a husband and wife. This is not unusual in the academic world. Only a few months after we moved in, I heard from neighbors that the man had passed away. The wife was now back from Europe and worked at UCSD once again.
I had an office in my house that had a window facing the street. Every afternoon at the same time the wife drove slowly down my street and stopped in front of my house for five minutes or so. She would sit there in the middle of the road and cry.

The business side of me thought that there should have been some kind of disclosure that the previous owner would park in front of my house and cry every afternoon for an indefinite number of years. One day after several days of watching her cry I decided that I should do something about it. I had an extra Bible and I went out to the car. I asked her if she wanted to come in for tea. She declined. I asked if she wanted me to pray with her. She declined. I gave her the Bible and told her that Jesus could heal her broken heart. She took the Bible from me and thanked me. Then she said something I will never forget. It chilled me to the bone. She said, “I can’t believe in Jesus because I am a scientist.” Her identity as a scientist prevented her from faith and from her salvation, from the Comforter. She was a victim of identity theft and identity betrayal.
We lived there for 11 years. She never stopped coming to cry in front of my house. We didn’t disclose this to the buyers when we sold the house.

How to we prevent our identity from being stolen or from us giving it away or abandoning it?

Worship. I don’t mean just attending a worship service at a church. Although that is a good thing to do, it may lead to identifying with the church and not as a child of God. What if the church suddenly changes its policy to follow a fad rather than Jesus? Will you stand firm and influence the church through love or follow another path?

The only sure way is to worship on your own as well as in your church. Most of us had not been taught how to worship only to pray and ask for things. Worship is its own marvelous and enlightening practice.

Through worship, and only through worship can we feel His presence here on earth. He is our identity. That sounds boring to you right? I would say so too until I experienced it. God pours out his identity of love for us. Each one of us has our own unique love that he showers on us.

How do we access Him? (I use “Him” from tradition only.) God is all creator, all knowing, omnipresent and bigger than we can comprehend. My favorite way to worship is kneeling in a quiet place and singing to him, Holy, Holy, Holy. I learned this from the Bible in Revelations. God has four strange creatures that worship him all the time and they say “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty who was, and is, and is to come.” Trust me give it some time and do this. You will feel his presence and his love come into you that passes any kind of human understanding. Through worship he will show you your true identity as He sees you.

Our true identity is the beloved child of the Lord God Almighty. Don’t be a victim of identity theft or a perpetrator of identity betrayal or identity abandonment. Hold tight to your birth right, your life line, your identity that you are a unique, special, amazing person that God made on purpose for himself to love and hang out with. You are so cool that the ultimate cool dude, God, wants you with him forever. This is your identity. Don’t let anyone ever, ever take it from you. Not even yourself.