Many years ago, I sat in a congregation blowing nose with itchy eyes and a migrain head ache. I had chosen a seat on the largest center aisle on the second row. No one ever sat in the first row. This spot was strategically away from as many people as possible. I could not sit next to someone wearing perfume. All the church ladies and men would pass by me, and my nose would light up. I wasn’t confident in conversation because I felt that at any moment my nose would erupt. One sister with a sense of humor started singing “Blow the Trumpets of Zion” whenever she saw me. My old friends from the North Park Apostolic Days will remember that.
It was a dismal kind of life I must admit. It was so much a part of my life that I had accepted it as my identity, the nerdy, sniveling girl that gets picked very last for the team’s in elementary school. I didn’t feel sorry for myself; it was just a fact.
That particular Sunday the pastor spoke about asking, and you shall receive. He said , “some of you have not ever asked to be healed from chronic illnesses because you think that is just you. It is part of your identity.”
I thought,’Oh my goodness, that is me.’ I never thought to ask to be healed of allergies.
I had heard people say that if God had wanted them to be a certain way, he would have made them like that so we could not and maybe should not change what we are or what we think we are .
Then I thought of the story in Matthew where Jesus heals the blind guy. Jesus did not assume he wanted his sight just because he was blind. Jesus asked him what he wanted him to do. He asked Jesus to make him see. So Jesus did.
If God had expected us to stay the way we were, Jesus would have not healed all those people.
He wants to heal us, but we have to ask. By asking, It shows that we want to change, we believe, and have faith. It is part of the deal between us and Jesus. We have to put aside our pride, self-assurance, our independence, and in my case, my identity as an allergic sickly person.
My newer friends would never suspect that 15 years ago, that was me. I haven’t had a migraine headache since 2011. I use kleenex to catch a spill rather than my nose. My neighborhood thinks I am a born athlete, playing baseball, basketball, bikeriding, hiking, and gardening!
It didn’t happen instantly but over the course of that year I discovered the causes of my headaches and how to control them. (See my blog on chronic pain). Discovery after discovery lead my life to change until now I sneeze over too much pepper like everyone else.
My healing did not come immediate but through constant search and learning and willingness to implement each new idea. Did God heal me? I believe he did. Did I have to do something to make it happen? Absolutely. I had to ask and like several of Jesus stories I had to do something. One guy had to wash, one had to pick up his bed and walk, they all had to believe.
My new identity is in Jesus Christ. I was once stopped up, and now I can breathe. Not as poetic and seeing, but breathing is life. I was once dead, and now I live!
7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye. shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh. findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be.
Matthew 7:7–8
